If Only
by Skye Coulson
Summary: MPREG: Charlie finds himself pregnant after a one-night stand with Colby. Colby doesn't react well and must win his love back or risk losing his child forever.
1. Seduction

**If Only**

* * *

**Disclaimer:  
**As per usual, I own absolutely nothing except the fic plot ... If I did, these boys would be - not only cannon but - endgame!

**Rating:  
**M (just to be safe because nobody knows where the hell this is gonna go)

**Genre:  
**Romance/Angst

**Pairing:  
**Colby|Charlie

**Lyrics Used:  
**ThalÍa - "Seduction"  
Ellie Goulding - "I Know You Care"

**Author's Note:  
**This is an _**MPREG**_ story. I realize this is not everyone's cup of tea, so - if you fall into that "not my cup of tea" category - _**TURN BACK, NOW**_! You have been warned. I do not want to see anyone reviewing for the sole purpose of _"This is so gross!" _or _"Mpreg just really isn't my thing."_ etc ... That being said ... Enjoy the show!

* * *

Your Seduction's A Dangerous Potion

* * *

_I can't help all my feelings of temptation | Every time you touch me | The way that you provoke me | I run away | Just gotta get away | Your kiss is pure seduction | Your love is my addiction_

* * *

Charlie had no idea how he'd found himself lying on his back, on the couch in his office, with a very solid blonde-haired, green-eyed FBI agent on top of him – their mouth's eagerly exploring one another. For his part, Charlie was busily memorizing every flavor, every nuance that was Colby Granger. Of course, he'd be lying if he said he'd never once (or perhaps more than once) dreamed of this very scenario. But, never – even in his wettest of dreams – did he ever imagine it would actually come to pass. Colby Granger exuded virility and masculinity! Nothing in the mathematician's vast arsenal could have ever predicted this scenario. Colby's hands efficiently vested Charlie of his clothing until the younger man was bared for the FBI agent to see. Charlie couldn't help blushing wildly as Colby surveyed his physical form, appreciatively. There was no doubt about it: Colby, himself, was undeniably attractive and could have his choice of any number of potential partners. Charlie couldn't make sense of what he could possibly see in a scrawny little nerd like himself. However, he wasn't about to question it. The strong, firm hand caressing his chest and abs shut his mind down, completely. The heated mouth traced his way down his jawline to his shoulder to his collarbone … all the way down his abdomen before plunging in between his legs. The hot, wet mouth around his penis drove the young mathematician absolutely wild.

* * *

_Can't go back but I gotta let go | Your powerful desire | Has set my soul on fire | This world keeps turning | My heart keeps yearning | It's beating like a drum roll | You make me want to lose control_

* * *

Charlie gasped in shock as his mind faded into hazy ecstasy as his hands instinctively tangled themselves in his partner's short, blonde, locks. "God!" Charlie cried out, in ecstasy, Colby's mouth worked his equipment with expert precision. Colby seemed to know every move to effectively drive Charlie completely out of his mind with pleasure. "Colby …" He breathed, never knowing the chills that ran down the FBI agent's spine as Charlie breathed his name in ecstasy. "I can't … I'm not gonna last …" Charlie breathed, frantically, feeling the coiling sensation in his gut that told him he was nearing the edge. "I'm gonna–" He breathed, before being silenced with a firm hand on his mouth, before Colby's mouth returned to his in a searing kiss. Charlie had lost all capacity for coherent thought. All he could think about was the passion coursing through his veins – setting every nerve in his body on fire. Another gasp escaped his lips at the sudden shock of Colby's own penis breaching Charlie's entrance. The initial pain was fierce but nowhere near as intense as the pleasure coursing through his body. Both men's breaths became increasingly ragged as their rhythm grew more frantic. Sensing his own climax growing nearer, Colby wrapped a lithe hand around Charlie's own penis as the younger man cried his name. Colby never knew how much a single word could drive a person crazy. "Colby! I'm gonna-" The professor gasped before Colby's hand gripped his throbbing member.

* * *

_My heart keeps racing | It won't slow down | I'm starting to get weak | And, I don't think I can take no more | You make me want to lose control_

* * *

Sensing his partner's impending climax, Colby gripped Charlie's solid member firmly before pumping in time with his thrusts in and out of the young professor. The thought of their shared climax drove Colby over the edge as he emptied his load, releasing his seed deep within Charlie while he simultaneous lost himself in the ecstasy of Charlie's own climax as the FBI's agent's hand was covered in the young professor's semen.

* * *

_Your seduction's a dangerous potion | Spreads like wildfire | All over every inch of me | There's no defense | Your love is too intense | I feel it in my body | You always keep on haunting me_

* * *

For the life of him, Colby Granger had no idea how he'd ended up here. It had all started out innocently enough. The group had all gone out for a few drinks after closing a particularly difficult case – perhaps even more difficult for Colby, himself, as he'd found the case dug up personal fears of his own that he'd thought were long buried. One of the victims had been a highly decorated Army officer – a green beret, no less – who'd been beaten, tortured, raped and killed for being homosexual. The investigation had served to remind Colby of all the reasons why he'd never come out to the friends and colleagues he'd come to think of as family. It wasn't for a lack of trust in _them_. He'd just – unfortunately – allowed his fears to get the better of them. But, he knew – from the moment they'd met – that it was only a matter of time before his ultimate secret came to light when Charles Eppes entered into his world. From the moment they met, Colby had been sure the young professor would come to mean more to him than he'd once thought possible.

Sure, things had looked a little grim for the two of them after the Janus List fiasco. Colby had thought – for sure – that Charlie would never forgive him. That was what had hurt the most. Knowing that the man that he'd loved in secret for so long would hate him forevermore. That was what had threatened to destroy the agent. When Charlie told him that he'd forgiven him … That he nearly stopped breathing when he'd heard what had happened to Colby on the freighter … Colby couldn't believe what he was hearing. How could Charlie possibly care that much about someone that had betrayed and hurt him so? It was baffling but Colby was beyond grateful.

But, now … Here he was … Alone with Charlie on the couch in the professor's office. With the unwitting owner of his heart naked and writhing in ecstasy beneath him. Charlie's taste was as mind-blowing as his unconventional physical beauty. Charlie's sweet innocence only served to drive the FBI agent even wilder. He couldn't believe that Charlie shared his attraction … That Charlie wanted him the way Colby wanted the professor.

* * *

_Your seduction's a dangerous potion | Spreads like wildfire | All over every inch of me | There's no defense | Your love is too intense | I can feel it | "Your Seduction"_

* * *

Colby's fingers nimbly explored every inch of Charlie's exposed flesh. The dips and valleys of Charlie's muscles which lay beneath silken flesh were a wonderland that Colby knew he'd never get enough of exploring. Trailing soft, wet, passionate kisses down Charlie's chest set Colby's very soul on fire. He'd never known a passion this intense in his life. Every nerve in his body was on fire but the pleasure of the burn drove him insane. He didn't know if this would be a one-time deal, but, he certainly hoped he'd have another chance to make love to Charlie, properly. Because, right now, he could tell that their deeply buried animal urges were taking over them, both.

* * *

_My heart keeps racing | It won't slow down | I'm starting to get weak and I don't think I can take no more | I can't think straight | And, I don't know what to do | I'm gonna lose my mind | 'Cause all I do is think of you_

* * *

Colby could feel his heart pounding against the walls of his chest so hard that he was sure it would explode and kill him where he lay. Come to think of it … He honestly couldn't think of a better way to go. The mewling and keening noises elicited from Charlie with his every touch awoken an animalistic passion he'd never even known existed. Feeling his climax rapidly approaching, Colby knew he wanted nothing more than to make Charlie come at precisely the same moment he released his own load deep within the mathematician that had stolen his heart without even knowing it.

* * *

_Can't you see what your love is doing to me | I can't breathe, I can't sleep | I don't know what to do | You took my heart and my soul | Got no choice | I'm so in love with you | I think I'm losing my mind_

* * *

Colby knew he'd never recover from the love that he felt for Charlie. It was a unique type of love; one that he knew he could never feel for anyone else. What he didn't know was exactly how Charlie felt for him. Did he feel the same way? Was he as in love with Colby as Colby was with him? Or was this purely a physical attraction for him? Would this be all the professor would ever give him? All of the questions drove Colby crazy in a far less pleasurable way and – more often than not – kept the FBI agent awake at night. But, for the moment, all he could do was live in the moment. Because who knew if he would ever get any more than this?

* * *

_Your seduction's a dangerous potion | Spreads like wildfire | All over every inch of me | There's no defense | Your love is too intense | I feel it in my body | You always keep on haunting me_

* * *

The two men lay in the glow of their frenzied lovemaking session. Charlie didn't know how he'd done it, but, Colby had managed to maneuver them so that – now – Charlie lay atop the FBI agent with his heart laying over Colby's chest. Together, their chests heaved as they struggled to catch their breaths. He didn't know where this left them. Did Colby reciprocate his feelings for him? Was it just a one-night stand? Were they friends with benefits? Were they together? He didn't know. All he knew was that he completely safe wrapped up in the agent's strong arms. He felt utterly invincible and he didn't dare shatter the moment with questions.

Colby would have been lying if he said he didn't have a million questions of his own. But, little did he know they were all the same questions, Charlie had – himself. All he knew for certain was that here – with Charlie safely tucked into his arms – Colby felt like he was home. It was a feeling of comfort and security that he'd never known before and he never wanted to lose it. Sighing contentedly, he couldn't help smiling as he came to a startling realization. Charlie was asleep. The young professor had fallen asleep in his arms. The moment was too perfect – even though they were laying on a couch rather than in a bed. Colby didn't dare ruin it. Glancing around, he caught sight of an afghan strewn across the back of the sofa. Carefully tugging the blanket down, he gingerly positioned it over the two of them as he smiled, to himself. Questions could wait until morning. Right now, all he wanted to spend the rest of the night with his whiz kid wrapped up in his arms. _Where he belongs … _Colby thought to himself, groggily.

"Love you … Colby." Suddenly, the agent's eyes shot open as his hazy mind slowly processed what he'd just heard uttered from Charlie's lips. The words were so soft and faint, he couldn't be _absolutely _sure he'd really heard them. But, one thing _was _certain … He'd never be able to _un_hear them. From that moment on, Colby knew sleep would continue to evade him until he got the answers that he needed – now more than ever.

* * *

_I know you care | I know it's always been there | But, there's trouble ahead | I can feel it | You are just saving yourself when you hide it | Yeah, I know you care | I can see it in the ay that you stare | As if there was trouble ahead and you knew it | I'll be saving myself from the ruin and I know you care_

* * *

The weeks that were to follow grew increasingly awkward as both Charlie and Colby seemed to actively avoid talking about what had happened. Finally, one night … After another tough case was closed – thanks to another one of Charlie's elegantly complicated algorithms – Colby found himself right back in the professor's office; seated on the very sofa that had completely changed everything – for Colby, at least.

"Thought you were going out for a drink with the rest of the gang." Charlie mentioned, off-handedly, while skillfully and deliberately avoiding meeting Colby's stare – attempting to appear busy with the files and papers on his desk.

"Yeah, well…" Colby sighed, heavily. "I think there's something you and I oughtta talk about…" The agent added, rising from his seat to stand across from Charlie on the opposite side of the desk. "Privately." He added, dropping his voice to scarcely above a whisper as he lightly gripped Charlie's chin in his hand and gently forcing the mathematician to look him in the eye. Colby held the younger man's gaze a few moments longer.

"What?" Charlie breathed, bewildered and unable to think clearly with Colby's fingers gripping his chin ever-so-tenderly. "I-I mean-mean … What-What do you mean?"

Sighing, lightly, Colby reluctantly released his grip on Charlie's chin. "C'mon, Charlie." He prodded. "I think you and I both know you're a lot smarter than that." He teased, hoping to lighten the heavy awkwardness that had settled over the two of them. Stuffing his hands in his pockets, Colby turned to pace the office as he added: "We need to talk about…" Pausing, Colby turned – without realizing what he was doing – to stare at the sofa. "…that night." He breathed, quickly losing himself in the memory.

Mimicking Colby's earlier sigh, Charlie knew the agent was right. They did need to talk about it. Charlie had grown physically ill agonizing over what that night would mean for the two of them. Judging by the agent's current behavior, Charlie knew Colby only thought of it as a wild night of passion – a one-time deal. That thought hurt more than Charlie had ever known was possible. But, as painful as it was to think that they would never be more than just friends that had shared a single night of unbridled passion – Charlie couldn't help feeling grateful for that one night. While it may not have been everything he'd ever wanted – or everything he'd ever dreamed of having … But, it was enough. After all … it would have to be … Wouldn't it?

Colby mistook Charlie's silence for a reluctance to admit the truth. As passionate as that night may have been, it would never be anything more than that. One night. Deep down, Colby'd had a feeling that this would be the case. He'd just been afraid to ask … Afraid to hear Charlie say it, out loud. "Look, I think we both know where this is going," Colby interjected into the heavy silence. "It was … incredible." He admitted, allowing himself another moment to lose himself in the memory before continuing on. "But, I think you and I both know it'll never be anything more than that one night." He added, withdrawing a hand from his pocket as he waved it in the air, in a gesture of finality that shook Charlie's world to its very core. "I mean, you and I are just friends and … I think we both know we'll never be anything more than that." He finished, shrugging as he fought back the tears burning behind his eyes.

Sighing brokenly, as Colby shrugged and turned away from him, Charlie silently collapsed into his chair – his elbows resting upon his desk as his head dropped into his waiting hands. After a painfully long silence, he finally summoned up the courage to look back up at Colby. "I suppose you're right…" Charlie replied, his voice sounding monotone and far away – distant – he seemed to gaze straight through the FBI agent before him. He really should have known he would never be more than Don's nerdy little brother. A nerd like him could never have someone like Colby. Charlie was president of the chess club while Colby was captain of the football team. They were just from two completely different worlds. Who had he been kidding? It never would have worked, between them.

"So I guess we just…" Colby shrugged, his head dropping as he suddenly found his shoes utterly fascinating. "…put it all behind us?" He shrugged, brokenly, hoping that Charlie hadn't heard the way his voice trembled and cracked.

"I guess so." Charlie replied, praying to whatever deity happened to be listening that Colby didn't hear the crack in his voice as he'd spoken. The room remained painfully silent for what felt like an eternity before Colby silently disappeared out the door. Watching him go, Charlie knew his life would never be the same.


	2. Forever Changed (part 1)

**If Only**

* * *

**Disclaimer:  
**As always, I own nothing!

**Rating:  
**M

**Genre:  
**Romance|Angst

**Pairing:  
**Colby|Charlie

**Lyrics Used:  
**Carrie Underwood - "Forever Changed"

* * *

Forever Changed

* * *

_She remembers the change in her body | The blooming within | Seemed to flutter with the wind | Then one night as the days grew longer | That Indian Summer she brought love into the world | Cried and held me then_

* * *

In the weeks that had followed their talk, Charlie had begun getting slowly sicker, every day. Finally, after a solid week of nausea and vomiting, Charlie knew he couldn't ignore it, any longer. He had tried to himself it was just stress: he _did _have a lot on his plate with his work at the university, his consulting work with Don at the FBI and dealing with the aftermath of his talk with Colby. That had quite possibly been the hardest thing he'd been dealing with – seeing and working Colby on a daily basis. If the green-eyed agent had noticed anything of Charlie's ailments, he hadn't mentioned it. Though, the look in Colby's eyes every time he looked at Charlie made Charlie curious. The FBI agent looked concerned. _Don't read too much into it. _The mathematician told himself. _Probably just a friendly concern over another friend not feeling well. _But, he knew that – were that the case – it should have subsided or, at least, improved by now. So, that was how he had found himself in his bathroom, seated on the lid of the toilet, mouth resting against his folded hands while his elbows rested on his knees. The young mathematician could feel himself vibrating with anxiety. If he were to be completely honest with himself, he really did not know what result he was hoping for. On the one hand, he knew he'd always wanted to have kids. But, was he really ready for that kind of change in his life? Was _any_body _ever _truly ready for a baby? Plus, he had always believed that he would be married to the father of his children. Or, at least in an actual relationship with him. Of course, that thought opened him up to an entirely new train of thought. What if Colby didn't want the baby? Could he really raise a child by himself? Then, again, a comforting thought finally settled over him. He wasn't alone. Even if Colby did reject him and the baby, he still knew he could count on his and Don to be there for him. Just then, Charlie was jolted out of his thought as the timer on his phone chirped – alerting him to the fact that his results were ready to be read. Drawing a cleansing, steadying breath, Charlie could not steady his trembling hands as he picked up the test off of the bathroom counter. "Oh my God." Charlie breathed as he read the results.

* * *

"Well, Charlie…" Dr. Emma Bennett greeted her young patient. Charlie had been a patient of hers for most of his life. She cared and treated Charlie as if he were her own family. As she entered the room, she could see that Charlie was visibly anxious. "…First things first…" She continued, rolling the office chair closer to the exam table upon which Charlie was seated. "…I do believe congratulations are in order…You're pregnant." Upon noting her patient's marked reaction, Dr. Bennett quickly corrected herself. "…Or…condolences…as the case may be." She amended, awkwardly.

Knowing Dr. Bennett was feeling awkward, Charlie waved a hand dismissively. "No need to apologize, doctor." He tried to offer the physician a forgiving smile though he knew it probably came across more sad and distracted than anything else. "Honestly, I really don't know _how _I feel about all this." He confessed.

"I take it this was not planned." The physician offered. Her voice was soft and kind as she slowly began to piece together the full situation in which her young patient had found himself.

"Definitely not." Charlie shrugged as he chuckled half-heartedly.

"Do you know who the father is?" Dr. Bennett questioned, carefully, while hoping that her voice would convey her non-judgmental mindset.

"Yeah…" Charlie paused, sighing lightly. "Yeah…I do…It's just a really…complicated and messy situation." The young mathematician explained as he ran a hand through his hair, contemplating the mess he'd made.

"Well, at least, you have a strong support system." Dr. Bennett remarked. She knew the whole Eppes family well and knew that Charlie would always be able to count on his father and brother for unconditional support. That was exactly what the young father would need – now more than ever.

"Yeah." Charlie agreed. "Yeah, I know you're right." He added.

Dr. Bennett couldn't help noticing the faintest glimmer of hope ghosting across her young patient's troubled countenance. "And, on that happy note…" Dr. Bennett replied, getting back to business. "Your blood work looks good. So, at this point, I'd like to go ahead and do a dating scan to verify that everything is okay and just to see how far along you are so we can go ahead and calculate your estimated due date."

"Okay." Charlie agreed.

"All right, Charlie…" Dr. Bennett began, as she gathered her probe and turned on her monitor. "Go ahead and lay back for me and pull up your shirt and slight the waist of your pants down just about an inch or so." She instructed as she input all of her patient's information.

Following the doctor's orders, Charlie laid back on the exam table and raised his shirt and lowered the wait of his jeans, exposing his abdomen. "Okay, Charlie, you're gonna feel something a little bit warm and wet." Dr. Bennett began as she extracted the ultrasound gel from its warmer, applying a generous amount across Charlie's bare abdomen. "And, now, you're gonna feel a little pressure." She added as she pressed the ultrasound probe to his abdomen, Dr. Bennett expertly navigated the probe across Charlie's bare flesh until she came to a stop. "There, you are." She smiled, warmly, as she pointed to a fuzzy image on the screen.

"Is…" Charlie breathed, awestruck, as he swallowed the lump forming in his throat. "Is…that…"

"Yes, Charlie." Dr. Bennett smiled, warmly. "That is your baby." After a brief pause, she pressed a button and a steady thumping rhythm filled the room. "And, _that_…is your baby's heartbeat." She smiled, warmly. "And, it is strong and steady." Turning to Charlie, "You've got one healthy baby, Charlie."

Charlie was speechless. He couldn't even think. All he could do was stare at the image of his baby on the monitor. "…and, from what I see here, I'd say you're about…eight weeks along."

"What?" Charlie replied, snapping out of his reverie.

"I said your baby looks to be about eight weeks along." Dr. Bennett smiled, warmly. "That would put your due date at October 23rd."

"October 23rd," Charlie repeated, his shocked voice scarcely above a whisper. Even though he'd taken the test and had the morning sickness to back it up, he had to admit that the whole idea of being pregnant still hadn't seemed real to him. That was until now. The full weight of the situation was hitting him like a freight train.

Dr. Bennett printed off the images from the scan for Charlie to keep. Taking the prints, the young father couldn't stop staring at the pictures in his hand. "Now, Charlie, before you leave, I want you to schedule a follow-up appointment for four weeks from now and I also want to see you back every four weeks for well-checks, okay?"

"Yeah," Charlie replied, snapping out of his trance as he straightened out his clothes before standing and easing himself off of the exam table before taking his leave.

* * *

"What's with the cryptic message?" Colby asked, steadfastly ignoring the spike in his heart rate as he walked into Charlie's office. Ever since that night, he couldn't look at the office the same way, again. Walking through the door, his mind was flooded with memories of the night that had changed his life. If only he knew just how much things were about to change.

"Sorry, I, uh…" Charlie began, awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck, nervously. "I just…I needed to talk to you I didn't-I didn't know…"

"Charlie, is everything okay?" Colby asked. He could see the professor was rambling and quickly unraveling. This alarmed the agent. He'd never seen Charlie so utterly anxious and wound up.

"Yeah!" Charlie, releasing a breath he hadn't even known he'd been holding. "Yeah, I – well, actually – I have no idea."

"Charlie, I've never seen you like this, you're really starting to scare me," Colby replied, closing the distance between himself and Charlie, concern etched into his face. Without realizing what he was doing, he took the young professor's hands in his own.

"You have no idea." Charlie breathed, shakily, staring at their entwined hands.

"Charlie, just…just talk to me." The pleading tone in Colby's voiced commanded Charlie's attention and forced him to look up into the agent's eyes. A move he instantly regretted. The pleading look on Colby's face threatened to destroy him. "You _know _you can _always _talk to me!" He begged. "You _know _you can tell me _anything_."

That did it. Whatever speech Charlie thought he'd had prepared went out the window. The tone in Colby's voice and the look in his eyes broke through all of Charlie's well-thought-out defenses. His mind shut down as his mouth began to speak of its own accord. "Can I tell you I'm pregnant?"


End file.
